burning questions

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GP Answers Your Questions

Part 4

posted July 10, 1998

Author's notes:

"The Thoughts of Chairman Parker" and "GP Answers Your Questions" will be on hold until late August. I will be away from modems and computers for the summer. Much of my time will be spent in England where, I believe, such devices do not yet exist and they are still in fact awaiting the first shipments from Taiwan.
          Also, I'd like to thank everyone in the audience and the staff at Brit's Pub in Minneapolis. Hope you have many more successful gigs on the lawn. Thanks also to Don Manderfeld for the positive review of the show. Don, however, quotes me from a backstage conversation, something, I feel, that should never be done unless I agree to an actual interview with a tape recorder running. My reasons for this are perfectly illustrated in his alleged "quote." He claims that when he mentioned Rod Stewart's version of "Hotel Chambermaid" I said (and I "quote"): "That should keep me in cash for a couple of years anyway." There is no way I would have said such a crass thing. That is not my voice. For one thing, I would never assume that any record, in these uncertain times, is going to sell enough that one song on it is going to keep anyone in cash for a few years. I may have made some jocular comment in answer to Don's comment, but it was not the blunt, crude remark "quoted" at the bottom of his review.
          I do like to come out and have a bit of light banter with people after shows but do not think that my typically humorous and friendly (and possibly slightly inebriated!) chit chat should be "quoted" up and down the internet. If this sort of thing happens regularly, I'm going to get paranoid and guarded and start acting like every other asshole who thinks he's a pop star. That's how people in the public eye turn into cretins in the first place: they don't feel that they have any privacy left outside the circus of interviews and appearances, etc. And everything they say is "quoted" by a "reliable source." So, let's keep this loose folks - I'm just an ordinary Joe, and want to stay that way. Really.
          Have a great summer.

GP

From Julie & Steve Weisenberg:

Hi Graham!

We recently saw you play (for the first time) at the Fez in NYC. You were dazzling! My husband was admiring the harmonica holder you were using, mentioning that it seemed to be much more comfortable than the one he uses. I was wondering if you could let us know what brand it is or where to get one like it? Thanks. We hope to see you again soon! Fondly,

Julie & Steve Weisenberg

TO JULIE WEISENBERG:

Glad you enjoyed the Fez gig.
I have a number of harmonica holders but cannot recall where I got any of them. It's possible that the one I was using that night came from a catalogue like Thoroughbred or American Music Supply. Can't remember if there's a brand name on it and it's a long walk to the barn and if I do go Down There I'll have no excuses for not picking up a guitar and having a go at writing something, a thought that fills me with abject horror.
          These catalogues, by the way, appear mysteriously in my mailbox at regular intervals. The genesis of their arrival I have not been able to divine, seeing as I neither advertise the fact that I am a musician nor encourage complete strangers to mail things to me. But they turn out to be very useful, especially for buying large quantities of picks and guitar strings. There's no way I'm going to pay store prices the way I go through strings on tour. These publications are also good for wasting money on useless gadgets that look appealing, too. I recently purchased an item that supposedly improves the sound of any acoustic guitar dramatically. "Easy Installment!" the ad trumpeted. As you can imagine, the tiny, intricate parts of this thing are almost impossible to hold in an adult-sized hand, let alone see with eyes that seem to be deteriorating by the minute. So the package - containing its assortment of minute beady-looking conical objects on a string of metal, piddly little strips of sticky plastic that you know are going to start peeling off at the first opportunity, dwarfish metal rods that are supposed to be used for prodding these obscure and delicate parts into place under the bridge of the instrument, and the items' instructions that look compact enough at first but turn out to be printed on a piece of magical paper that expands exponentially as you read it (which, by the way, is only possible with an advanced, preferably Hubbell-produced electron microscope) - now languishes in a drawer gathering dust and the attendant microscopic mites that accompany dust and will remain there for ever, probably, or at least until the day comes when I can justify paying for a roadie again (sorry, "Techies" I think they prefer to be known as now).
Happy hunting.

PS. It's a week or so later and I have since been to the barn, written a song, kicked a quarter-size soccer ball against the barn door repeatedly and with some aggression, polyurethaned a wood-framed window or two, and looked at my harp holder. There is no name-brand on it that I can see, but it does bear the legend "Made in Germany."

From Sigurd Renander:

Hello again Graham!

It was great to be at your concert in Oslo, but it was even greater when you joined us at the nightclub after the concert.

Even though we all had to get up early for work on Monday morning, we will never regret that we took the opportunity to party with you. I guess you didn't miss your plane to Holland.

In the morning of the day you had your concert in Oslo, I said to Tonje that today is a great day. We are going to a concert with GP and after the concert we are taking him to a nightclub. Just before and during the concert I said the same to my other friends. It's strange how things seem to happen just by visualizing. That shows how important it is for people to think positive and to have belief.

We hope that you enjoyed yourself that night as much as we did. And please don't forget our offer about staying with Tonje and me when you are in Oslo, either you are alone or together with your family. Our apartment is in walking distance from the very center of Oslo. And if you should prefer a Hotel, Tonje will give you a fair deal when choosing Savoy Hotel.

Oslo could be your base when Discovering Norway.

Try out www.tourist.no if you don't know too much about Norway.

I've bought Acid Bubblegum now, and like it very much (although Struck by Lightning still is my favorite). Since 12 Haunted Episodes is your personal favorite, I have also spent lot of time listening to that too.

Even though I could write a lot more, I think I should quit now. The small space offered for these questions indicates that massive multipage questions and comments are not exactly wanted.

I pass the regards from Tonje, Gunn and Robin, and wish you a nice springtime in New York and Italy.

Hope to see you back in Oslo soon.

Best regards
Sigurd Renander

TO SIGURD RENANDER:

Hey Sig and pals. Thanks for the night out in Oslo. You people are alright!

From Carlos Serra:

Hullo, Graham. I saw you live in Madrid a few days ago, and hope your voice got better. Great show, bad luck about the voice, but I enjoyed myself tremendously (I was the guy who likes Another grey area) :) My question is: is "Socks & sandals" going to be included in any future album? It was a great fun song. Also, and in the same wavelength, is there any new material by you on the way? Acid bubblegum was so good I can hardly wait..
Anyway, thanx for your attention, I am out of here!
Keep up the good work
Cheers

TO CARLOS SERRA:

"Socks 'n Sandals" may or may not make it to a studio album. I recorded the song live in Belgium on my European tour along with another new number, "Final Page", and these may well be released one day in this solo context. Although I only did these songs at a few shows, the reaction was very positive. One guy who seemed unfamiliar with my work thought "Socks" was the best tune of the evening!

From Peter Pelham:

Graham:

I have been a follower since University days in the UK and have seen many of your shows in the San Francisco Bay Area. (Loved your show with John Wesley Harding last fall in SF)

You have performed with other artists on stage but never done anything jointly on record (ie writing songs/recording). Is this something that interests you and if so, who would you consider working with?

TO PETER PELHAM:

Co-writing songs, I must admit, does not appeal to me. Appearing on other artists' records as a vocalist or guitarist/harmonica player is fun, and I wouldn't mind doing it more often, but it is not something I actively seek. (My last guest spot was on Rees Shad's album "Anderson, Ohio." I take a verse on the song, "Heroes Son" and Gene Clark {I think that's his name} takes another verse.
          "Who would I consider working with," you ask. Well, sometime in the '80,s, I think, I heard Keith Richards was going to do a solo album and so I asked my then-manager, who had had dealings with the Stones' camp before, to contact Keith's hired hands to offer my collaborative services as a co-songwriter. At that time I was living in a loft in Manhattan and a few times, not long after my manager had called Keith's people (who gave a fairly enthusiastic response) my phone rang mysteriously in the middle of the night, like at about 3 or 4 AM, and I like to think it was an inebriated Keith, testing me, seeing if I was keeping the same hours as him, which obviously I wasn't cos I remember being awoken by the ringing coming from the other room and being well pissed off about it. Whoever the culprit was, they left no message. This happened on a few occasions in that time period and then ceased, never to return. I can't imagine to this day who else would be ringing at such ungodly hours other than an inebriated Keith and I guess if that's who it was, I didn't pass the test. There you go.

From Anders Bergqvist:

I´m no clubexpert at all and I don´t visit clubs very often, but I made some reflection outside the club Studion in Stockholm when I attended your excellent concert there...(Thank you Graham for giving all of your heart to the crowd!) I did see a bunch of posters with some very mediocre Swedish bands on, but not a single one with the worldknown Graham Parker!! How come? Maybe just a bit of "smart" advertising, not only in Stockholm, is something that is needed for you to get more of the attention that you so well deserve...?

/Anders

TO ANDERS BERGQVIST:

Thanks for being one of the all-male crowd in Stockholm.
You're saying one of my shows was not well advertised? Get out of here! I just don't believe it!

From Marty Woods:

The John Hiatt fans are worked up in a frenzy about some comments that were attributed to you regarding your songs being covered. Are you actively shopping your songs? I can think of many intriguing possibilities. I've seen you in a number of sparcely attended clubs and have come to the conclusion that a well-placed cover would propel you back into the limelight. Best wishes for your European tour.
Marty Woods

TO MARTY WOODS:

"The J. Hiatt fans are worked up..."? About what? I'm dying to know what that means. Please clarify. It sounds like I've offended someone and I don't remember saying anything concerning Hiatt at any time. As for seeking covers, my catalogue is published by my company, Ellisclan LTD (except for my 1st 4 albums in the UK only which are published by Warner/Chapell, damn it), but a few years ago I took on Bug Music in an administration capacity with the express desire for them to obtain covers as well as collect royalties from my many obscure releases and covers already in existence. Bug have secured covers and soundtrack slots for many, many artists (they were there, I believe, when every living recording artist in the known universe decided to cover Hiatt's songs), but so far for me, they have got exactly zilch. It's been about 3 years now and they may well be at the point where they can't push my songs around any more for at least another 90 years for fear of eliciting large groans and possibly a scattering of buckshot. Really - there are just no takers. Actually, they have managed to almost place me on three movie soundtracks (one was "Romy and Michelle" or whatever it was called), only to have the songs pulled at the last minute. Let me tell you a little story; a little home truth for those of you who may think that there is still a shred of dignity left in this business (there isn't): Each time my songs have been placed and ready to roll on these soundtracks, along comes a thing called a "Record Company" with its attendant quasi-human, an "A&R man." Now, the films' producer may love my song, the director may love my song, the entire cast may love it and proclaim to be huge fans (if I had a penny....), the gaffer, the key grip, the best boy and the bloke who welds the aluminum to the side of the actors' trailers may love my song, but as soon as the record company (Warner's or Sony, usually) who have done the deal to release the project see my name, I am out of there quicker than 4 pints of lager and a mutton curry in the stomach of a fat man who has just fallen off his moped on a side street in Woking at 11:30 on a Friday night. "No no no," says the A&R man with a certainty that only years of the highest levels of bullshit can inspire, "you can't have him on here, he's not Soundscaning any thing and we've got a dozen new bands who are Soundscaning 5000 a week - Parker's gotta go. Either we put one of these up-and-comers on or we get someone the public are familiar with."
          This scenario that you have just digested, with, no doubt, shudders of horror, was something I, in fact, theorized was happening, and after I called up a Bug honcho I found that my theory was bang-on. After Bug had called me on 3 separate occasions gleefully informing me of their acquisitions, only to call me a few weeks later, each time, to tell me with dull resignation that I'd been dropped, I decided to ask them why this was happening and got the answer I thought I might get if someone were to tell me the truth.
          I have coined a phrase for this kind of thing: I call it: "Soundscan Decisions." {In the '80's, people made "Cocaine Decisions," which although often a tad erratic, were, in fact, much healthier.}
(The above, by the way, is a description of reality. )
          Now, for those of you not familiar with Soundscan: Soundscan is a service that was supposed to be available only to record co's but is now in fact available to anyone who'll pay the bucks (it may even be free by now, I'm not sure). Soundscan is the computerized tracking of record sales (in selected record stores, natch - let's keep loading the dice in Metal licker's et al's favour, shall we?) throughout the United States (are they covering the world yet?) and as such makes it easy for too damn many people to see who isn't selling well. Soundscan is why you will never see Yours Truly (as well as many other acts of, ahem, modest sales) on Letterman, etc., again. Soundscan dictates, like MTV before it, who gets more than the shit end of the stick. You might suppose that the truth (actual record sales as opposed to PR hype) is a good thing. It is not. Hard figures speak very loudly and poor Soundscan results in the 1st month of a records' release mean that the record will be cut out of the game very quickly and every radio station and TV show in the country can see at a glance who's selling what and where and therefor who to add to the playlist or include on the show or not. What it means to the public is, as usual, less choice, less knowledge of what is available, less chance to hear or see something that might appeal to you, blow your mind, change your life, make you tingle all over. Why would a radio station add a record that's not selling well? Why back a loser? Why place a song on a movie soundtrack if the artist isn't and has never burned up those ugly shiny sheets of hard, truthful figures? This is America, get with the program. Why have a band that is showing up more zeros with no 1's before them on Soundscan on your late night variety show when you are in a perpetual ratings war? Especially since their last record had a similar low-sales showing on Soundscan. Make no mistake about it, Soundscan is the worst thing that has happened to music since MTV.
          Lies may not exactly be a good thing, but not being able to lie is a very bad thing indeed (payola was a beautiful tool and got lots of people you might never have heard on the radio - it still goes on, but the dice are already loaded).
          Regarding the gist of your note, Marty, I don't think a well-placed cover is going to particularly propel me anywhere (except to the bank a little more often, perhaps ), but obviously, being cut out of the loop with such ice-cold precision is a bit of a bitch. (Rod the Mod, by the way, has just released "Hotel Chambermaid" on his latest album but it had nothing to do with Bug. It was Rod's choice cos he's loved the song for years. Jamie Walters, from "Beverly Hills 901 whatever it is," cut "Release Me" a few years back because he's a fan and the man, bless his heart, sold truckloads in Scandinavia, among other places. He got Dr. John on backing vocals, too! There are some people who will do a song just cos they love it and to hell with the A&R men and Soundscan and radio and all the rest of it. There is always hope, my friends, or at least an angry sea.

From Ulf Olby:

Hi Graham,

I'm just curious about your overall reflections of the european tour in march-april. Especially the Stockholm-concert which I attended. My opinion is that you were in real fine form, especially during the middle- and endsections of the concert. Even though we weren't more than 150 people in the audience, I hope that you felt the warmth and response from our side.
By the way, Green Monkeys is one of my personal favourites. I heard you doing the full-length version live solo in Stockholm in the early 90's. Any chance that it will appear on any album in the future??
Keep up the good work! The world would be emptier without the knowledge that you might be touring or releasing new records. I've gotten used to this the last 22 years and hope for 22 more...

All the best,
Ulf Olby, Sweden

TO ULF OLBY:

I was not completely discouraged by my Euro tour - a few gigs did better than I thought they would and despite someone's comment that there were only about 150 people at the London show, there were actually, according to staff I talked to, close to 500 there. I know what 150 feels like, and that place looked pretty packed. As for where you saw me, Stockholm, I thought it was a good warm feeling out there and it felt like a busy house (just bring your wives next time, will ya - or some tarts....anything in a skirt for Chrissakes!).
          Unless I record a live show that includes the extended version (the original was the one on "H. Soul" - I lengthened it for the stage) of "Monkeys," it's unlikely it will appear anywhere (it's not on "Live/Japan," is it?) as I am pretty much over it by now.

From Tom Thornton:

Mr. P: I have been a fan of yours for over 20 years. Can I get an autographed CD booklet? Thanks for the (past and future) music!

TO TOM THORTON:

If you come to a gig, say "hi" to me after the show (I usually come out to the side of the stage these days, except profiley towns like NY where it's just too hectic) and I'll sign your CD, leg-cast, t-shirt, fulsome breast...oh, sorry, you're a bloke....whatever. I can't get into mailing stuff, though.

From David Collins:

Graham - Long time fan (etc.,etc.). Loved the group tour w/D.Edmunds - saw the D.C. show. As to the Q - stopped you on the street in D.C. years back before you played a venue called the Wax Museum (kinda cool placa, show rocked). I made a promise to myself that I would never that hand again. Well as you can imagine the hand's pretty rank by now - everyone keeps their distance? So wanted to ask you to keep me informed of your wereabouts should you get near Miami, My new home base. That way we could meet - you shake the other hand - and I'll get about to cleaning myself up and still be touched by greatness.
Thanks - David

TO DAVID COLLINS:

Not quite sure what the heck you're on about, but I do remember playing a place called "The Wax Museum" in DC.
          Actually, people should, whenever possible, keep their distance. I never shook anyone's hand until I came to America. In England, we barely make eye contact let alone shake hands and generally communicate via a series of guttural grunts, which is all very well until one decides one wants to have sex with someone whose intelligence and wherewithal is above that of a person with little more than a brain stem and a pinhead. Then things become very complicated and one often finds oneself staring down the flute of the object of ones desires parents' sherry glass and proposing marriage - not to the parent, hopefully, but mistakes have been made.
          Shaking hands is one of the more disgusting formalities devised by man: it spreads disease, for one thing; and there are always those twats who have these bizarre secret handshakes designed to confound the uninitiated; and then you get those morons who squeeze your fingers together so hard it feels like your wedding ring is going to slice through your knuckle; and lets not forget the bastard who holds on and holds on and holds on as he breaths his halitosic funk in your face and says, "Graham! (accent grave on the "Gra...") what's Brinsley doing? I always wondered why you guys didn't make it big - what happened? You know, I always loved you guys and that whole pub rock scene!", and can you get away from the grinning clown without almost pulling your fingers out of their sockets in order to release your by-now crippled digits that you have to play guitar with for 2 fucking hours in about 15 minutes time? No you bloody well can not. You have to stand there and take it cos this is the American way. Pavaratti may seem like a giant prick (okay, he is a giant prick, but dig my point) as he swans into town with a scarf around his pepperoni-red mouth refusing to have even the slightest physical contact with the locals, but why the hell not? If you have a paying audience, why take the chance of getting a cold or the flu? Every tour I do, without exception, myself and the band have to pass around the Tour Bug which makes touring even more miserable than it already is for weeks on end and how do we pick up this bastard little virus? We shake hands with people. Obligatory hands. Believe me, "risky" sexually behavior is far safer than handshakes.
          Sorry, Dave.....what was it you wanted? Okay, okay. Reading your question again, I see it makes even less sense than I thought. I'm glad you have promised to "never that hand again." That sounds like a damn good start, pal. Good man.

From L BRANZ:

GP,

GREAT WEB SITE. JUST FINISHED READING THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, ANSWERS,..., REPRESENTING ALL THE OVER THIRTY AGE GROUP, I FORMALLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE WEAK TURNOUT AT LIVE VENUES.
THREE KIDS, SOCCER PRACTICES AND DAILY, SLOW DEATH EARNING THE ALMIGHTY SUSAN B. ANTHONY HAVE ELIMINATED ANY AND ALL LIVE SHOWS DURING THE 90'S.
JUST CONTINUE PUTTING OUT THE VINYL, TAPE, PLASTIC MIRRORS CONTAINING YOUR GREAT SOUND.

MY LISTENING GOES BACK TO SCHOOLDAYS, I THOUGHT STRUCK BY,, WAS YOUR BEST UNTIL BURNING, THEN EPISODES (GREAT!!!). STILL LEARNING TO LOVE BUBBLEGUM (MILKTRAIN MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD AND THOUGHTS OF PURCHASING JUGGS MAGAZINE). KEEP THE GP THOUGHTS COMIN'
SOMEDAY "THEY" WILL UNDERSTAND.

LATER,

TO L. BRANZ:

Glad you thought "Milk Train" was a hoot. I seem to recall a previous mention on this site about the song. On the "worst of GP" list, I think. Maybe it can become my most hated song? Keep the soccer up and don't bother with the gigs - you're on the right track.

From David Imhoff:

Dear Graham,

Have you looked into the possibility/viability of creating a web business similar to Todd Rundgren's? As you might know, Todd is selling his latest music, his in-progress autobiography, his videos, all via his website. I'm sure your fans would be eager to subscribe directly to you, allowing us to show you the appreciation we all feel for your enriching our lives with your work. Since you're working on a book, you could follow the Dickens model and sell it in installments to your subscribers but via e-mail. Just a thought.

A long term fan,

Dave Imhoff

TO DAVID IMHOFF:

Great idea, David. Todd, however, is a mover and a shaker, and I'm just a lazy bastard who thinks that writing songs, recording albums, doing gigs, constantly rehearsing (even for solo work - I am that paranoid about making an ass of myself onstage), and performing all the other myriad tasks one has to perform in order to promote this nonsense, is quite enough, thank you. I know that that (cottage industry) is where the future lies, but I just don't seem to have the time or energy to haul myself into that atrocious future. I mean, isn't it enough already to wrest those blasted demons people call "songs" out of my sweating, substance-addled brain, then have to work on the bastards for months on end, then have to even think about what churlish, buck-hungry mental cripples the rest of the world calls "musicians" that I'm going to hire to play these monstrosities, then go out on the frost-heaved roads of winter and the locust-sticky highways of summer singing the rotters till blood spurts from my red wine-dyed heaving, gagging throat (I could go on) without having to create a whole fatuous, mail-order, 20 cent stamp-a-pop computerized bloody nightmare out of the whole wretched business!? (Here, our dear friend David cringes and drops below his dimpled and coffee-stained Formica-topped table whimpering, "I only asked, damn it! I only asked...Why this merciless torture? God, the humanity...!")
Good, but tiring idea, David.

From Sam K:

i have seen many tours, but my favorite might be the rock and roll revival with steve cropper and dion and kim w., etc. was it good 4 u /

TO SAM K.:

The tour you mention was really something. I am not a fannish person (that soon gets erased after a few years in the business and you've met a few "stars" {you think famous people are important? Have you ever eaten with one?}) but Cropper wrote the book on soul guitar styles and having him play my stuff was a privilege.

From John:

Graham, ever consider having Todd Rundgren produce one of your albums?

TO JOHN:

Rundgren again? From what I've heard and read, when Todd produces an album, it becomes his album, not yours. (Come to think of it, that might be a good thing, but I don't know whether I could stomach it.)

From Brice Rose:

Is that omnipresent blowtorch of yours used to incinerate critics and/or record executives? Or do you just singe them?

TO BRICE ROSE:

It is a, ahem, a "marital aid."

From Mike Clark:

Graham,
First off, I'm a fan from the days of Heat Treatment. I was working at a college radio station, which put Turned Up Too Late on the playlist. It was like nothing else I was hearing at the time and through a variety of links, got me into a number of other artists I still follow (Nick Lowe, Elvis foremost among them). Thanks for that and all the great music down through the years. My question: Given the current economic realities you face in terms of touring and recording, have you changed your songwriting style? I believe you've said you don't expect to tour with a band anymore. So does that mean you try to write songs that are best experienced solo? I was thinking about this while listening to The Kid with the Butterfly Net, with that great fiddle playing.

TO MIKE CLARK:

Largely, I still think in terms of a band when I am writing songs. I actually pound that acoustic guitar as if it were a band. The solo renderings are adapted later. The acoustic guitar, like the piano, is a perfect, full-spectrum instrument that evokes all the power, nuances and dynamics of an orchestra: when I'm writing, I hear the drums, the keyboards, the bass, the electric guitars, the backing vocals, the reverbs, the string section and horn parts that I will forego for (cough) budgetary reasons - it's all there in that piece of wood. It's a beautiful thing.

From Ron Wells:

G'day Graham. One of my fondest memories is seeing you at Festival hall in Melbourne in 1978. I went home to find Victorias finest in our house busting our arses,and was hauled off to jail, with a smile, singing "fools gold". I got through that bit of mischief and went off too see the world. Twenty years later I lost my wife, my home, and my dog all in a three month stretch. I was having a rough trot when a friend dropped in a copy of twelve haunted episodes. "FLY and FIRST DAY OF SPRING" healed me far more than the PHD's and MD's. Thanks for 25 years of outstanding music. I am in your debt, Sir. I guess my question is should I send you my $35 to pay for services rendered, or send it to the PHD.
Cheers , mate.
Ron Wells. An Aussie boy "Live,alone in America."

TO RON WELLS:

You could send me the $35 but I'm not gonna give you my address, so please save it for my next couple of albums and hopefully they will give you a similar boost.

From Michele e VIto Bottalico:

Hallo Graham, finalmente ti abbiamo conosciuto nel tuo tour in Italia a Sesto Calende per la precisione.
Abbiamo una foto che ci ritrae insieme a te e ti abbiamo parlato. Grazie per la tua musica, grazie di esistere Graham. Con affetto

TO MICHELE E VITO BOTTALICO:

El sinquesta del portifica mia culpa sqiddillo mungery! Il nosho con Italia fillo il stomachia quanto burstifico. Bravo! Bravo! Also, pulpo slaverio ono pizza bouta 2:00 amo, coupella e flagonni's e vino e grappa e limonchella via il bucketti load isa assured to repeato next bonjourno. E special risotto of Cesto Calende con arborio riceli con dippepi in yer girt chunko parmasan isa like e monstero brick ina il lower colono - ita never passŽ!! Ciao! Grazia!

From little miss understanding:

what's your view of comparisons between your work & that of elvis costello? (friends in college introduced me to you upon evidence that we had e.c. in common.)

[an aside: thanks from this side of the pond for the colorful vocabulary supplements (e.g. "fizzog" from the box-set liner notes). not even the shorter oxford can help me -- i must consult natives.]

TO LITTLE M.U.:

Whatever.....It's tired old stuff. Just get your history right and remember who came first.
          Yes, "fizzog" is a beautiful word that my father used to use a lot when I was a kid. It comes from "physiognomy" and of course means "face." If one of my friends had a mug ("mug" is another word for face. It also means "sucker") like a bunch of bananas or a frying pan, for instance, my dad would invariable say, "Cor, look at 'is fizzog!"

From Anonymous:

In 1980, I wrote a review of your album "Squeezing Out Sparks" for a high school English class in Wausau, Wisconsin. A teacher's aid named Alita Brost read the paper and, to my great suprise, said: "Yeah, this guy married a friend of mine." We went on to become friends but lost track of one another many years ago. I never asked her about this again and now, I guess, I'm just curious if she was putting me on or not. It seems to me she said this friend of hers was from New York(?). Bullocks or not?

TO ANONYMOUS:

"Bullocks"? I think you mean "bollocks."
The Wausau, Wisconsin bit rings a bell with my better half, but the name is wrong. Maybe you got a couple of teacher's aids' confused?

From Michael Kates:

When I first heard Howling Wind and Heat Treatment in 1976 I was knocked out. Since then you have consistently been one of my favorite songwriters. That's pretty cool, I think - 22 years of digging an artist without once having to say, "He used to be good back when..." etc. I don't think any of the albums were dogs, though some (like The Up Escalator and Acid Bubblegum) do stand out in my mind. I can't think of another artist or band for whom I can say that, except Little Feat.

I agree that the Figgs are the most exciting band I've heard you with in ages, and they take to the material so naturally. How did you hook up with them? Were they already playing some of your material before you met them? I love the Bronx / Westchester accents, too. No place in the world but New York can one hear a crystalline sibilant "s" in the word "take." But I digress...

One of the first professional bands I worked in (back in New Jersey, 1976) used to open with "Hold Back the Night." Now, living in a cultural wasteland disguised as the swingin' city of Atlanta GA, I include "Gypsy Blood" and "The Beating of Another Heart" in my solo gigs. No one has ever recognized them, but... well, what else is new? I think they sound great.

If you ever make it down this way and have use for a seasoned keyboard player who (a) already knows your songs, (b) can keep time, (c) plays better than OK and (d) will work for cheaper than your wildest dreams just for the pleasure of doing a gig like that, I'll do whatever it takes. If that never happens, as will most likely be the case, it gives me great pleasure nonetheless just to tell you how much your music has meant to me over the years.

TO MICHAEL KATES:

I first met the Figgs, coincidentally, in Atlanta, at The Point. I was doing a solo show and they were doing the graveyard shift later on. They arrived at my soundcheck and Mike Gent got his guitar out and began playing bits of my songs, querying me on some of the chords he wasn't sure of. He seemed to know more about some of these tunes than I did ("Soul on Ice" was one I had forgotten almost completely) and I was duly impressed. After I'd recorded "Acid Bubblegum" I flashed on the fiendish idea to ask them to be my backing band to promote the record and they were well up for the match, as we say in England.
          By the way, thanks for your appreciation of my work through the years. I dig it when people are not swayed by trend, preconception, hearsay, theresay, hissay, hersay, and all the rest of the old tosh. I'm always meeting jerks who once read a review or heard from someone who once read a review from like, 1980 or something about how I've "gone American," which, to the British particularly, is a sin more egregious than murder. Then there's those twats, like the guy who came backstage somewhere in Italy asking for an autograph (toting some cruddy old piece of vinyl, natch) who insisted that he hadn't bought any of my new records because he'd heard that, quote, "they are very bitter." I mean, what the fuck does that mean? "Oh yeah, I'm going for that "very bitter kind of groove, man." Right, that'll be entertaining. Misconception and ignorance are the enemies of good work. Cheers, and thanks for including my songs in your shows.

From Dave:

GP: In 1979, on your Squeezing Out Sparks Tour, you played the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota. During "Don't Ask Me Questions" you urged the concert goers in the hallowed Guthrie Theater to come onto the stage and finish the show on the hallowed ground of the Guthrie's stage. This was a first for the Guthrie Theater. Never before had such a bold statement been made by its musical acts. Not the Who or The Band, or any other group had the balls to call the audience onto the stage where only Shakespearean actors and famous musicians were allowed>>>Do you remember this show, and did you have any idea that this was a forbidden act? The local papers raved about the show and gave you and the audiance credit for making the Guthrie a place for the regular people! If you return to Minneapolis, try to play the Guthrie Theater again. Your recent shows have been at the Fine Line Bar.

Dave from Minneapolis

TO DAVE:

I've been reminded of the Guthrie Theater many times, most recently at my gig in Minneapolis on the bowls green at Brit's Pub. I do have a jumbled memory of inviting people up on stage but feel that this may have happened more than once and I can't recall where it occurred. Anyway, glad we brushed the starch out of the place.

From Tom Thornton:

Mr.P: I have been a fan of yours for over 20 years and have NEVER been able to understand why you are not a huge star. What was the circumstance of Rod Stewart recording "Hotel Chambermaid" on his latest record? And does everybody realize that "Long Stem Rose" and "She Never Let Me Down" are two of the greatest songs ever written? Thanks for the music!

TO TOM THORTON:

Rod was threatening to do "Hotel" back in '76. I read a piece on him recently where he said he first heard it in 1979, but his memory is not accurate in this matter. I have a copy of his new waxing and seeing as there's only 10 songs on it and considering someone from his record company almost certainly would have preferred he cover a more fashionable artist (probably the guy who wrote the liner notes, I shouldn't wonder, judging from the tone of them -"last choice" indeed! Phshaw!) I think it's gutsy and true of Rod to have included it on the record. Yes, some day some other unswayed individuals of note will cover "Long Stem Rose" and "She Never Let Me Down." It's only a matter of time.